Mar 27, 2008

The nocturnal buzz surrounding A's trip to Japan

By Rick Hurd / Bay Area News Group

By now, you've played back the DVR recordings. You've seen the highlights. And you've watched ESPN drool like a bulldog in its lust for the Boston Red Sox.

But you probably haven't lived.

You see if there's anything that gets the hair standing on end, it's watching baseball at 3 a.m. So while the sane among you were dreaming about a world that doesn't include the Red Sox and Yankees, here's what you missed:



Tuesday, 3:02 a.m.: Broadcaster Gary Thorne momentarily stops the Red Sox stroking - the term "Red Sox" or variations of it are used eight times in the first two minutes - by mentioning, "on the other side, the Oakland A's." Apparently Thorne thinks the A's are still on the eastern side of the Pacific.

3:06 a.m: Jack Hannahan gets into his ready position at third base as Joe Blanton delivers the first pitch of 2008. Bleary-eyed observers slap their faces to make sure it's not a dream, because nobody other than Eric Chavez has stood there on Opening Day for the A's since Dave Magadan in 1998.

3:19 a.m.: Mark Ellis smacks a Daisuke Matsuzaka pitch on a line into the left-center field seats for the first run of 2008. The blast creates a hum in the stands of the Tokyo Dome and from the refrigerator in the kitchen.

4:27 a.m.: The hum at the Tokyo Dome has subsided, but not so the one in the kitchen. It's so annoying now that even the crickets are complaining.

4:29 a.m.: In an interview with commissioner Bud Selig, Thorne refers to "the steroid thing." Somewhere, Howard Cosell rants about the "con-TEMP-tible contribution of neoteric sportscasters to the CRIT-i-CAL conscientiousness of ... communication."

5 a.m.: Wander outside to see if I can't "get the worm," only to find that even the birds are still asleep.

5:01 a.m.: Click on Google for "Refrigerator Repair." Sadly, no local company offers 5 a.m. house calls.

5:09 a.m.: Hannahan, subbing for Eric Chavez, races toward the seats alongside third base and makes a dazzling catch of a pop-up, momentarily chilling a Red Sox rally that eventually will erase the A's 2-0 lead.

5:15 a.m.: Hannahan launches a two-run home run into the right-field stands to put the A's in front again. Thorne says, "Chavez who?"

5:26 a.m.: "Stretch time," takes on new meaning when the seventh-inning stretch meets up with the "Man, the morning comes early," stretch that most Bay Area residents are probably experiencing.

5:57 a.m.: Streetlights all over the Bay Area are still lit, which only makes sense since Moss lights up A's closer Huston Street for the game-tying home run. An inning later, Street allows Manny Ramirez's two-run double in the 10th.

6:47 a.m.: Emil Brown submits his ESPY nomination for worst base-running blunder of 2008, effectively killing an A's uprising against Bosox closer Jonathan Papelbon with an ill-advised dash to third base. Manager Bob Geren's anger must be humming like an out-of-control refrigerator, especially when a pair of hits follow Brown's mistake.

6:54 a.m.: Kurt Suzuki grounds out. The A's third straight Opening Day loss is in the books.



Wednesday, 2:45 a.m.: The alarm goes off, interrupting a dream in which the protagonist is being attacked by buzzing refrigerators.

3:01 a.m.: Flip on the TV and sit down. No more buzzing. Unfortunately, the sound of Thorne droning on may be worse.

3:05 a.m.: No question, the sound of Thorne is worse. Flip the radio dial to the A's flagship. Static. Not a bad alternative.

4:01 a.m.: Hannahan races down the third-base line and makes an over-the-shoulder grab to retire David Ortiz. Mays who?

4:14 a.m.: Brown crushes a Jon Lester pitch for a three-run homer. He makes his way around the bases without incident.

4:35 a.m.: Thorne mentions that there are a lot of A's fans in Japan and that "it really hasn't been a one-team show." Wonder if the jet lag is catching up to him.

4:50 a.m. (approximately): An A's flag above the Tokyo Dome scoreboard falls to the ground and is removed from the field. Apparently, Thorne didn't get the memo from ESPN execs that it really was a one-team show.

5:02 a.m.: A's starter Rich Harden throws the last of his 95 pitches, getting Mike Lowell to fly out. Six innings, nine strikeouts, only one run (a Manny Ramirez homer). Not even a faulty fridge can create a buzz like this guy.

5:08 a.m.: The television feed gives us a close-up of Matsuzaka. That's approximately 1,743 of them over the two nights, er mornings. Thorne mentions that ESPN is not controlling the feed. If it was, this would be the 3,486th close-up.

5:57 a.m.: Alan Embree throws a fastball past Boston's Jason Varitek to give the A's a 5-1 win and a split. The kitchen is quiet, and a few moments later, thankfully, so is Thorne.